ONWARDS!!!!!

So this is me at the Philly Folk Fest trying out a Harley. Bushels of fun! I am moving forward (with God at the handlebars or whatever you call the thing that steers the motorcycle) to beat this cancer!

I've decided to get yet a THIRD opinion on my treatment. I will go to The University of Pennsylvania's Rena Rowan Breast Cancer Center on September 9th. The way I figure it is I have to get the most knowledge I can to make the right decision, or at least get a confirmation  that getting a lumpectomy is the best thing for me right now. They are the number one cancer treatment center, I found out recently doing some searching...Thank God for the internet. As much as a curse as it can be it's also a great tool to have, and a blessing...

It is really a lot of hassle to do this, to get a third opinion, you have to have all your records, films, mammographies, tests etc. sent to the new hospital in time for them to review them prior to your appt. Take a day off....Make calls, send faxes, etc. But I know it's worth it. As much as I make light of my situation, in the back of my heart I realize that it is serious. It is cancer. It's not an ingrown toenail, or even gallbladder surgery. I feel this I really have to get right.....

Next Wed. I will get the breast M.R.I. at Fox Chase...there still is more information for me...and then a little after that the 3rd opinion...

I know God is in complete control of my life...and He has given me peace and direction, and a sound mind (on most days!) and the energy to explore my options fully...

I met my little kindergartners today and they are an AWESOME group I can already tell!!!! I feel so blessed, our first day together was wonderful, and it went by so fast! At the end of the day as we were getting ready to go home and (after they had asked me a gazillion times during the day when they were going home) a few actually said, "I'll miss you!" I honestly have NEVER had that happen to me before!!! It was really sweet....I also got to see many of my former students and they made me smile so wide!

Thank you, everyone, for all your love & care & hugs & cards and PRAYERS!!!! You are all very much appreciated!!!! May God bless you!

Update...

Yesterday I started my 2013-2014 school year. I let all the district teachers know that I had been diagnosed with breast cancer over the summer. I told them in case they saw me wearing a wig or looking tired I may need a hug. It was hard to let everyone know, I felt uncomfortable, but I feel it was better doing it and felt it would lessen gossip. In a way I felt some people shied away from me after I told them my news, but I also got a lot of positives and hugs. Our school is like a family, really, I am so fortunate that way...

I am schedule for my M.R. I. tomorrow at Fox Chase, but it's supposed to be done 7-10 days after menstruating. Of course what happens on my first day of school, "it" visits me! So I will re-schedule my M.R.I. until next week....I want to make sure the results are as accurate as can be...

All in all I am not afraid. God has NEVER let me down in my life!!!!

ALMOST SURPRISING!

Nothing like a slice (or ten!) of "Jule's Thin Crust Pizza" 

after a long day at the cancer center getting a second opinion! 
(The gorgeous woman on the left is my friend Andrea 
who also doubles as my driver on occasion! We have a lot of fun together. People who see her think she's a model! Our sons are pals, that's how we met...)

My visit to Fox Chase Cancer Center today  was tremendous and ALMOST SURPRISING except that I believe this Bible verse: Jeremiah 29:11 " For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." 

Before I begin, I have to thank my good friend and teaching colleague Margret for coming to get Eli at 9:30 a.m. and taking him ALL DAY until 6 p.m.! She has a sweet son who gets along great with Eli....That is no small feat to take Mr. E for an entire day! Love you, Margret, Conley School Teacher of the Year 2012-2013! I can't wait to hear your "acceptance speech" next week!!!!

Here's how my visit to Fox Chase went down...First of all, we had to find the actual hospital itself, which was not that easy with the traffic congestion and all, but Andrea pressed on. Then, once there, navigating around the hospital trying to find where to go was a "little" tough, but Andrea and I finally found the place where first time patients "sign-up." FINALLY we found the Women's Cancer Center. The hospital itself was nice, crowded as can be (a good sign) yet not as spanking clean at Doylestown. All of you know what a total neat freak I am, yet I didn't let this cloud my judgement! I am kind of proud of myself for that. :)  The doctor was what I was there for and he DID NOT disappoint!

After meeting with a super knowledgeable nurse, then a "fellow" (a doctor who had completed her residency but was doing more time on the floor) I finally met the surgeon, Dr. Bleicher. Andrea and I were convinced almost instantly that this was the place to go and the guy to go with!

I was all ready to be told the different double mastectomy choices I had, but instead, we were told I had the option to get a skin-sparing much simpler lumpectomy, as opposed to the whole enchilada - the "Angelina Jolie". I almost fell off the table! (Thank God I didn't because I was wearing a hospital gown and that would have been sorta ugly...not to mention completely embarrassing...) Anyway, apparently, after speaking with the doctor and the "fellow," this happens a lot where women are only told they can get an "Angelina", when they could actually get a much simpler and way less invasive procedure. I am SOOOOOOO GLAD I got a second opinion! HUGE Life lesson right there! It's a choice between a one and a half hour procedure - then walking out afterwards - VS an 8-10 hour procedure with two nights in the hospital and a long, difficult recovery.

                          Meet Richard J. Bleicher, MD, FACS!

Dr. Bleicher at Fox Chase was the most AMAZING guy. He was incredibly smart, even brilliant (and I NEVER use that word!) - he had a lot of experience treating people with cancer - it was practically pouring forth from his speech. He talked fast and explained many things, yet was totally understandable on every point and he is a also a great people person to boot! He was patient with my every question, and never rolled his eyes once! I knew within 5 minutes of meeting him that I wanted him to be my doctor, so I scheduled the lumpectomy operation then and there. Andrea and I just kept looking at each other with our mouths hanging open at the news that I did not have to get a double mastectomy!!! I am still in shock.

The weird thing is, I have the same chance of reoccurring cancer (30%) no matter which of these operations I get! I will have to be monitored closely from now on but that's okay. I will have to get a mammogram and an MRI every sixth months alternately. Plus they will "track" me for the rest of my life. If I DO get a recurrence THEN I would have to get the "Angelina", but for now I do not have to do that, and I may never have to! Not only that but I CAN take Tamoxifin to kill any remaining cancer cells, (the other doctor had told me that I couldn't and that was one reason he had recommended I get a double.) So I would take Tamoxifin for five years.

I will only be missing a few days of school after my operation which is scheduled for Thursday, September 19th. Then later down the pike I will have to miss some school for chemo only not radiation. I know I will be tired from the chemo....But it's an easier pill to swallow now. Another weird "coincidence" is that I asked Dr. Bleicher if I could do my radiation (which is every day for 6 weeks) closer to my home, at Doylestown Hospital and the doc said sure, but there is a GREAT Fox Chase doctor even closer, right in Buckingham which is 5 minutes away! Dr. Bleicher  (who is a teaching doctor, who does research and writes article) highly recommended her for both her expertise and her personality!

The only other hurdle I know I will get over is next Wed. I have to get an MRI. Dr. Bleicher wants to make sure there is no cancer on my other side. He says he NEVER orders MRIs, and the nurses and training doctor agreed, so I know I am being taken care of in a thoughtful manner. He doesn't think there is any cancer there but he wants to be extra sure.Please pray that nothing shows up on my other side!

The two surgeons I talked to - one at the local hospital and the other at the cancer center - were just miles apart in treating people with cancer - the difference and experience was striking! Both were very professional, and experts at what they do, but one has had much more experience treating cancer patients. I told Dr. Bleicher today it was like comparing a Raisinet to a piece of the best chocolate in the world! (Which I have yet to Google so I can bring him some on my next visit!)

Okay that's all for now, it was quite a day. PRAISE GOD! And thank you all so much for your support and PRAYERS!!!!!

Too Much to Live For!

Chip & I had a wonderful opportunity to play at the Philadelphia Folk fest this past weekend! It was a dream come true, and so much fun! Everyone we met was tremendously kind, and it restored my faith in humanity! I DID NOT MEET ONE MEAN PERSON THERE! I can't wait to do more fun things like this in my lifetime....I just want to be rid of the cancer and just get on with living! I have too much to live for to let this stop me for very long!

Today I visited one the plastic surgeons affiliated with Doylestown Hospital. The meeting took 2 hours! It was quite a lot of information to take in....I definitely wish I had taken a friend with me, but I did okay. I was able to better focus on processing the information. Sometimes when I am with my girlfriends we get silly...but that's only sometimes, right girls??? There were, I think, five procedures I was told I could get at Doylestown. After hearing about them, I asked many, many, MANY questions (I know...very out of character for me, right???) and, so far, I have narrowed it down to two options. One being "once and done" (you are in the operating room for about 8 hours, but when you wake up it's 'done' basically, save for a trip or two back to "tweak" things if needed....) The other operation being I guess what you may call less invasive, an easier operation, takes less time to get back on your feet after, except afterwards you have to go in every week and get "tweaked" until you get to the size you want to be. I am keeping it simple here for obvious reasons....the main reason being I don't want to gross anyone out! You can always Youtube these operations.... seriously, I watched one at the docs today; it was very interesting! I wouldn't go eating popcorn during viewing or anything like that, I mean it wasn't that entertaining but it was cool!

While there I asked the plastic surgeon if he could remove a tiny mole on my face (kinda like a two-for-one op. I guess) and he said, "Maybe at a later time." He would only be focusing on my chest during the operation! The nerve! I even had a coupon!!!!!!! (HA HA Of course I am kidding!) (Anyway my dad would have been proud of me for asking for a two-fer!)

So tomorrow I head to the regular surgeon at Fox Chase, the one who would remove the cancer..the plastic surgeon would go in after him (they are both present for the operation) and he - the plastic surgeon - would reconstruct what was left of my chest, perhaps grafting some skin and/or muscle from another part of my body...

It is all pretty gross but also to me really amazing that they can even do this for me! I feel scared but very, very fortunate that I even have choices......many women do not have any choice.....

I am looking at an overnight stay in the hospital, maybe two nights, with the first being in I.C.U. That doesn't really thrill me, but the nurse said it was so I'd have round the clock care...

Anyway I will let you all know what happens at Fox Chase tomorrow. I'm excited to see this place, I've heard many good things about it....

Dolly or Kate?

Navigating the waters of doctors is a full time job, and mentally exhausting. Getting a 2nd opinion has created more waiting, even though I know I have to do it. I've set-up two different appointments with different plastic surgeons, and I'll be meeting with the regular surgeon from Fox Chase in a few days...so things are moving along...it's just taking a lot longer than I thought it would....choosing the surgeon, then the plastic surgeon, and then the hospital, not to mention the oncologist down the line.... However I am so grateful to even have a choice. I know there are many women today even as I write who have no health insurance. They are facing huge medical bills, even losing their house to breast cancer...to beat the cancer. I can't help but think of them all day as I make my calls and go about my routines.....

I wake up every night and it takes me about an hour to go back to sleep. I think of my dad who also did this when he was diagnosed with stage 4 Burkitt's Lymphoma at age 84. He would tell us kids how he'd have trouble sleeping at night. No doubt Dad was spending part of that time talking to his maker, like me. How scary for him, his prognosis was so much worse, with a huge grapefruit sized tumor in his belly...and an aged body.

I looked at one of the plastic surgeon's web-sites yesterday to see his "work" in the chest department. Without going into much detail I'll just say that there are some choices I am going to have to make in the near future! And shopping for that "special new look for myself" is actually quite thrilling! Do I want to go with Dolly Parton or Kate Moss? Hhmmmmm...decisions decisions....

I honestly never imagined that in late August, 2013 I would be looking at web-sites of before and after photos of boobies, but stranger things HAVE happened. Sometime I will tell you about the time my brother and I found our family cat, Ebenezer, dead in 
our freezer!

      VS     

Wow.

I got the results of the Genetic BRCA test back yesterday. It turns out that I DO carry the BRCA 2 gene. Wow. That news was not what I expected at all.

I was "pretty upset" when I heard the news (THAT sure is an understatement!) As Dr. Morgan spoke over the phone, I started feeling like I was having one huge hot flash in every part of my body....then like I was going to puke...then like I was going to faint. The next couple of hours were like a blur, like I was watching my life from the outside looking in. I went through the day's motions in a daze. I just needed to keep going on with my day's normal routine. I took Eli to Rita's for a gelati, then to get a hair cut, then to the library, then to Marshall's where I bought myself a new purse! Nothing like a new purse to cheer a girl up!  "Aunt Sue" came over in the afternoon and she, Eli, and I took a long hike at High Rocks. It was incredible and it put my feet back on the ground. 

"Part of being optimistic is keeping one's head toward the sun, one's feet moving forward."                                                                                            Nelson Mandela

Life goes on for us and I know this is all happening for a very good reason and that God has me/us all in His VERY CAPABLE  hands and He has NOT forsaken us!

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified...for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
                                                                                                   Deuteronomy 31:6

(Of course at times I am fearful of what lies ahead but mostly I am feeling at peace, and grateful for so many things.)

I'll be going to Fox Chase Cancer Center on Tuesday 8/20 for a 2nd opinion, but I am pretty much looking at a double mastectomy w/reconstructive surgery in the not-so-distant future.

I reiterate, wow.

What Are You Thankful For?

Today I am so thankful for clean water, electricity, clear skies with no bombs going overhead, green grass, people who care, someone's hand to hold, food in my refrigerator and pantry, a beat up old pick up truck that runs, freedom, no one knocking on my door in the middle of the night to arrest me for praying, a healthy child and husband, health insurance, a job, the fan in my window, a little house to live in, soap, milk for my child to drink, medicine at the ready, a strong family who loves and communicates with one another, super supportive friends, my eyesight, the ability to walk across a room, my hearing, music, the soldiers who gave their life for me...and who are right now sitting in a hot, dusty desert somewhere serving their country, missing their families. I am thankful to be alive today.

Most of all, I'm thankful  for Jesus who suffered tremendously and gave his life to pay for all the sins that I've ever done or ever will do....

Juice!

Tonight, I am drinking a juice I made of: kale, peaches, watermelon, apple juice, and banana. MMMMM it is deeeeeeelish and I feel like Super Woman after I drink this stuff! I am so grateful for the farmers who grow all these good foods...Say thank you to a farmer the next time you can! We need fresh food!

"Throw it on God..."

This letter was written to me by a very close friend who is struggling with a life-threatening illness, and also has kids. I wanted to share it with you because it's so beautifully written and also very heartfelt...and it gave me much hope....

"As to the kids....they will be just fine. They really will. And as you said, throw it on God. It will work out, not overnight but gradually day by day. That puzzle will come together slowly and at the right time. I've had my share of disappointments regarding things I wish I could do, or do better!...but just can't. But at the end of the day, I feel deeply that I'm teaching my kids a valuable lesson worth more than gold. That whatever life throws you, whatever battle big or little comes their way, you face it. With courage, with faith, with grace. You don't run away. You be adaptable to how life changes. You make the BEST of it! And your family works as a team. This is when that shines through.

...We are another family, with young kids, and this huge "thing" in life, like you. We're committed to facing it head on, being open minded, and keeping our family tight despite the fear. Above all, relying on our Creator for strength and guidance.

I know you can do it too, Annie."

Thank you, dear friend here and all my other dear friends and family who have reached out to us with your support, love, and prayers. It means the world to us! Love & bunches of hugs to you all!

Exclamation Marks...

I'm feeling emotionally drained lately. "It" is constantly on my mind, worrying me...I'm really not a worrier by nature...I am very optimistic! In fact, as many of you know, the exclamation mark is my favorite punctuation mark! I definitely overuse that guy! But lately I wonder, "If cancer can be one place in me, then it could potentially be in another part of me..." Let's face it, I'm not getting any younger. Time takes its toll on anybody. (Though happily I report, when I talked to Dr. Morgan, the surgeon, the other day he did keep referring to me as "young" so that kind of made my day!) As an aside, Dr. Morgan told me "There's something going on..." with women under 50 getting breast cancer. I don't know what that something is but I'm guessing the docs are on that one. Still I wonder if there are cancer cells anywhere else in me...especially since I take after my dad and he had melanoma, prostate cancer, and lymphoma....

Anyway, I need to keep reminding myself, that there are people out there MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH WORSE off than me. I am so INCREDIBLY blessed, in so many ways, and I need to keep focusing on that! THANK YOU GOD for the millions of blessings I see and for the ones I do not see! Psalm 46:1 says, "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." To have been given the gift of faith to believe that verse is in itself an enormous blessing.

I also need to focus on helping and serving others...working at school keeps me going...knowing that I will soon meet a new group of little kindergarten kids to spend the next ten months with fills me with joy (and sometimes fear - HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

The Waiting Game

Waiting on a treatment for cancer is tricky; It's hard to be happy or sad. Waiting on the BRCA genetic test that will determine if I am predispositioned to getting more cancer in my future.....waiting to get a second opinion....waiting to see what operation I will get and when. Then what else...radiation? Chemo? Meanwhile the cancer lingers in my body, a small but mean posse of cells, an enemy inside of me. This photo of our family was taken last weekend at our pastor's cabin. It was really good to get away, breathe in the fresh air, sleep with the cold air coming through the open window, listen to the birds, drink my morning coffee by the fire. Once in awhile I do enough fun stuff to forget about the cancer, and then it pops into my mind again, reminding me not to be too happy or too sad...just wait for the next thing...

A Son's Reaction

I told Eli this week about the cancer...that the doctors found a lump and it's
cancer and the doctors have to get rid of it, and he was like, "Okay....."  

Then he was on to the next thing...ordering some Lego thing on line....

A tiny bit later he came into the kitchen and gave me a hug and then, hesitatingly, he said "Uh......I'm kind of regretting that hug because I might have caught cancer." Of course I told him cancer wasn't contagious!

I'm Going to be Okay!

Okay, so God told me the other day, in a funny way, that I'm going to be okay!

Thursday I was walking around our house, not the yard, I was right up close to the house walking the perimeter of it. I don't even know what I was looking for or why I was doing it. I never do that. But anyway, as I was walking I noticed not just three or four but maybe 15 - 20 holes dug by moles, snakes, mice, I don't know what....but there were a lot of these holes!

So this morning I was thinking about it and then God just told me that I'm gonna be okay because I'm living on "Holey" Ground! Just thought I'd share that with you...you gotta love God...

WELCOME TO MY BLOG: 
'Pink is the New Purple!' 
I've started this blog because I was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. As I've just begun this journey and do not know what lies ahead (only that God will take great care of me) I found I needed a place to document what I'm going through, and to share it with others. It is my hope that we might all learn something, or better yet, many things from this new path I am on......and maybe even share a laugh or two along the way. After all, some say that laughter is the best medicine and I believe that! Thank you for joining me on this journey. Love, Annie